My Story

My story, my history, lives in my body. Your story, your history lives in your body.

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As a child I came to believe that my hypersensitivity was a burden, that it made me "too emotional," so I shut it down. But only in part. I could shut down the crying, outward expressive side of me, but what flourished was my empathic and perceptive side. Like most sensitive children, I could read a room and pick out the kid who needed help.

Now as an adult, I know that this near-constant heightened sensitivity was on account of growing up with an unpredictable sibling: my nervous system and energetic body learned to pay attention at a hyper-vigilant level.  I also now know that I, the "'cryer' of the family," was the family member who channeled the sadness of our family. And my picking out the kid in the room who was in need really was me gravitating toward a child who held a similar vibration.   

There are many different ways to look at the world and our histories: through a literal lens, a psychological lens, a spiritual lens, an energetic lens, etc.. I have found after working for over twenty-five years with the body as a massage therapist and energy practitioner that my story, my history, lives in my body; your story, your history, lives in your body. In this day and age we have the space and opportunity to reflect on that truth from different lenses to help us resolve or heal the wounds of our past, and be a new person who can create the future we want to become.

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My career in the healing arts began with massage therapy, where I loved to learn about the body and all its clinical, intricate details. I also had emotional bodywork experiences that made me understand that my life was somehow stored in my body too, and that the experiences that were not so great kept showing up as pain and constriction within my tissues or as emotional releases on the table. I had a felt understanding of the adage “the issues are in the tissues.”  

This understanding, along with my own spiritual journey, guided me through the healing arts into working with the abdomen and the energy body. It has been these explorations of our energy body—our deeper, mysterious body—as well as how our soul and spirit inhabit the crazy wonder that is our body, that has brought about my current work.

Our past experiences are held in our bodies at an energetic and cellular level. The parts of our experience that have been hard and shocking and brushed “under the rug," are the parts that get stuck in our bodies in places of contraction and lower vibration. When we bring our attention, presence, and love to those places, and become the willing witness to the emotions and memories, then something shifts. Light is breathed into those dark, tight spaces, and with that light an unraveling or unfolding of what has been trapped there begins. This is where healing begins. And we can continue to work with these places to encourage the continued process of unweaving the old pattern, and make new choices that allow us to reweave a new pattern for our lives.

To me, this is the spiritual journey of our lives: To learn about and from life; from our body and how it holds onto our old patterns, and how these patterns are mirrored outside of ourselves in our lives; and learn to love and honor what was and ourselves without judgement. To also look at our story, our ancestors' stories, our culture's story, and see how it all lives within us. To feel into what parts in us feel expansive and freeing, and what parts feel contractile and limited. To learn that we have choice in where we put our attention, and how to love ourselves with all that we are.

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